yes, salamanders are slow processers. and a free class on the truth.

I spend a lot of time being clever…

in my head.

The truth is I’m not too quick on the draw — I’m a slow processer, like a salamander. I prefer to mull things over thousands of several times before I feel prepared to respond.

I’ve learned to accept and even appreciate this, bar momentary relapses (usually when I’m not feeling grounded or connected, i.e., not taking care of myself), as with a recent conversation with an acquaintance.

She was sharing about how well things are going in her life. Something about it triggered me: I felt a shift in my heart rate, a slight tensing in my solar plexus and instantly a voice in my head said Say something clever, be charming!

Oh, the ego is so delicate.

For better or worse, I spent a good part of a minute trying come up with something to say. Of course, I couldn’t come up with anything. Today I can, but in the moment? No.

And thank goodness.

Not saying anything left the silence and space for her to play out her story (which turned out to not be all sunshine and cherries). And space for me to be in my jealously and watch it shift in my body and eventually move through, leaving yet more space.

I notice something similar when a friend is in need or making a decision. Ooo ooo, I know what you should do!

But rushing in with fixes rob us of the opportunity to let the thing run its natural course. And, like with teaching, how much better is it for a person to find their own way to an answer than for you give it to them? Claiming that you know for them is actually quite arrogant.

In the midst of this interaction I also remembered that we’re currently studying ahimsa and sayta (non-violence and non-lying) in the Enrichment Program.

It was a great reminder that these foundational restraints and observances are a choice. The mindful life takes practice and patience, effort and discipline (but that’s tapas and we’re not there yet:).

Anyway, chances are my acquaintance wouldn’t have thought I was as brilliant and amazing as I’d have wanted her to.

***

In celebration of being more honest with ourselves, here’s a free class practice based on satya. Play with the little ways you exaggerate or deny or camouflage. Let me know how it feels (honestly!).

Click to listen, right click to save or open in iTunes.

It would be great to have a strap or robe tie, padding for your knees, two blocks (or just use the seat of a chair) and a little piece of wall. Don’t let all the stuff scare you — it’s a pretty simple and lighthearted class based around Half Moon Pose.

Satya Beginner Class

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courage

 

Courage is not the absence of fear.

Courage is being afraid and doing it anyway.

The teacher trainees “taught” for the first time yesterday. A group of about 10 of them taught the other 8 a sequence of poses they’ve been studying.

It was honest, thoughtful, affectionate, and spontaneous…. it was kind of like a first kiss. So sweet to hear their voices, to see them enchant the room. To watch them watching the process.

I think being a teacher of any kind takes a great amount of courage: putting yourself in front of a group (I’ve read surveys that cite public speaking as the #1 fear for people… #2 is death), the group is waiting for you to tell them what to do, the people have probably paid something to be there (the pressure!).

And even more so with yoga. It’s such a personal and intimate thing to share. In order to speak in a sincere way that might help students touch those deeper parts of themselves, the teacher must have accessed that in herself. After having poked around in those dark corners, we stand up in front of people and, in a way, allow them to look there too. It becomes a sharing not just of movement and breath and energy (which is incredibly intimate in itself), but also of story and fear and joy.

Sure, it’s about the body. Sure, it’s about where your knee goes in warrior II. And, we cannot deny the fact that the body, the cells remember. Check out this brilliant post from a trainee—the second paragraph from the bottom. We all have things that are “unfinished,” in the heart and the body, just waiting for a little wiggle room, any kind of acknowledgement, and an escape route.

At least this is my experience of practicing and teaching. I’m not interested right now in any other way. This is my service, my heart…. my TRUTH. The budding teachers I saw yesterday are on their way to finding theirs as well.