Stealing Sleep

A friend of mine uses the phrase “stealing sleep” when he has a sleepless night. Mostly in reference to girl trouble, as in, “She’s been stealing sleep.”

Last night my ego, my insecurities were stealing sleep. The incredible preoccupation with how the TT weekend went (things I forgot to say, things I did say that didn’t come out right, all the ways I could have done better) wrapped me up and tossed me around in a tornado of replay, redo and “next time….” Additionally, that dream-like, groggy, agitated in-between where the mind is full speed and the body is exhausted is so disorienting. 

Sigh.

Ajahn Amaro talks about how insecurity is just another form of conceit — it’s complete self-absorption either way.

Bigger sigh.

As I write, R is in the other room with his headphones on singing along with an unidentifiable song. In NVC observational language, he is singing off key. Pretty loudly. Maybe it’s a man-thing, but he doesn’t often worry about what people think or spend time replaying a past event. He sounds to be very present with his enjoyment of the song right now!

Well, I think there is more investigation necessary here. This is not a new topic for me, yet I am open to fresh insight. I might journal, go to the park and practice, check in with 3rd chakra (ego), check in with 4th chakra (heart), re-read the last transmission from the Dali Lama.

But first, I’m going to put my headphones on and find my favorite song….

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2 Responses to “Stealing Sleep”


  1. 1 dwchipps September 1, 2009 at 12:31 am

    I too had time to “ponder” during my waking moments last night. Know that I was in awe of how you led us through the weekend.

    “Not to worry” or cintaa maastu (if the sanskrit dictionary is accurate)

  2. 2 Kristin September 1, 2009 at 5:58 am

    Here’s to our “learning moments” that make our “next times” a little sweeter. These weekends are great and you are fabulous! Bet you were precious with your earphones on! :)


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