Two nights in a row I’ve had dreams about zombies. They have strange, hazy eyes (that’s how you know they’re already zombie-fied), and they want me to join them. In last night’s flick, R come home with those hazy eyes and wanted a drop of my blood, which would, of course, zombify me too. I was resistant, angry, and afraid in a confused kind of way. I got a knife and took it to bed with me with the intention of stabbing him. He’s been a little needy this week, so my initial interpretation was related to that… but then my better judgment suggested that I do the voices.

I don’t want to give myself over to something I don’t understand.
I don’t want to lose control of being myself. 
They seem cultish and boring.
I will fight to keep my identity, autonomy, and freedom.

Join us.
It’s ok.

While this could all seem very brainwashy, oddly it makes sense with a thought I had the other night about the wild geese.  On my walk to the massage office, a flock flew over. I could hear their “harsh cries,” could almost feel their urgency and determination in my body. Again, my eyes welled, I stopped in my tracks. What is it about this, I wondered?

Here’s the answer that came: It’s that they give themselves so fully to the plight. They have no self-interest. They risk their lives to make this journey and dedicate themselves completely to the flock.

It brings me to my knees. That’s what I want. Service, not self-interest. Devotion, not pride.

Those fucking zombies are here to take me there. My breath quickens just thinking of it. I only hope I can make the trip.


2 Responses to “Zombies”

  1. 1 journey4yogis November 23, 2009 at 6:15 am

    Damn Michelle . . . I read the Dalai Lama post first. They’re the same. It’s the precipice of an amazing revelation – the point between Knowing it and Being it; you have the courage.

    I honor your honesty and openness.


  2. 2 blogasana November 23, 2009 at 8:02 pm

    Damn is right, Erin! Your words and tenderness bring tears to my eyes. (oh my god, it’s working…) Thank you, sweet one.

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