Roller Coaster

This week has been quite a ride.

Me and my Monsters on a roller coaster going up up up the hill (pause for a moment of panic), then whhooooosh—heart-in-my-throat, high-pitched screams—back down to the bottom.

My emotional rollercoaster this week has been like this:

Someone is happy with me!!!!! = I’m happy.

Something good happens!!!!! = I’m good.

Someone is upset with me = I’m upset.

Something bad happens = I’m unhappy.

“We are ruled by our external conditions.” As the Buddhists say.

Those damn Buddhists. They’re so often right.

And… since I did not notice that I was on Scary Roller Coaster Ride, I forgot that I can get off.

(No wonder my Monsters kind of looked like Carni’s this week.)


4 Responses to “Roller Coaster”

  1. 1 Tami February 26, 2010 at 8:22 pm

    roller coasters sometimes can be fun. this one? not so much.

    sometimes we are also ruled by our internal conditions and those seem to be so much harder to get away from. definitely feels less like there is choice involved.


  2. 2 Madeline February 27, 2010 at 5:44 pm

    I know how you feel. We try not to internalize because we know what’s true for us, yet the ego rears its ugly head and leads us astray a bit. Here is a common Buddhist saying that I try to keep close to heart. It helps tremendously to ground me and remind me that I need to stay more focused on deciding my reactions, in my search for inner strength and development of my true soul:
    “Even as a great rock is not shaken by the wind, the wise man is not shaken by praise or blame.”-the Buddha

  3. 3 blogasana February 27, 2010 at 10:31 pm

    @tami – “internal conditions” … i hear ya.

    @madeline – wow – that is beautiful. one to post on my computer… thank you!

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