ride

This weekend I went on my husband’s version of a horse ride.

We went down the Sacramento Delta — river-lined agricultural land south of the city. Feels like another world far away from traffic and stop lights.

We stopped at a roadside fruit stand, went to a biker bar and swung over to see Cowboy and his buddies.

 

 

Even though motorcycles aren’t my thing, I’m starting to understand why my hubby likes to ride.

 

 

 

Actually, what he enjoys about his time on the motorcycle is similar to what I enjoy about being with Cowboy: he must be present and mindful, at the same time he can slip into another realm of awareness, and it gets him out of the house and into the gorgeous world.

 

 

The last few times I’ve gone with him, I’ve found myself in an almost hypnotic state. I think it’s the fear factor and knowledge that 1) I’m not in control; and 2) I could die any second. Of course, those two things are always true, I’m just much more aware of that reality on the back of a motorcycle.

In this semi-hypnotic, hyper-aware place, I begin to wonder what the heck I’m doing with my life.

It could be over so quickly… Have I told the people in my life how much I love them? Have I given myself as fully as I can to causes and moments and making a difference? Why am I waiting for someday to do the things that matter — my dreams and life list items — and to let go of the piddly things?

I can almost imagine the moment one’s life might “flash before their eyes.” It reminds me that it’s good to do things that scare me. It’s good to check in with my priorities. It’s good to love, forgive… and go for a ride with my husband.

Now if I could just get him to take a ride with me and this sweet, beautiful beast.

 

Advertisement

be magpie’s guest

It’s easy to let people have ideas about who I am. As a yoga teacher, the assumptions about me are usually that I’m nice, kind, warm and generous. And, I am!

Of course, I can also be mean, petty, jealous and selfish. If you hang around Blogasana, you’ve read about the sassy tangos between these two sides.

Stepping more fully into this duality and exposing my darker side has been scary. And strangely freeing.

My guest post at Magpie Girl is no exception. When Rachelle asked me to write for her Relig-ish series about living a spiritual hybrid, the only answer that came was about my marriage.

This was the hardest and most honest post I’ve written and I thank Rachelle for the opportunity. Reflecting on my past, my beliefs and the path that has led me to this Right Now has been a lovely gesture of self-acceptance, integration and wholeness.

Would love to hear your thoughts on the Magpie post.

Happy weekend!

hanging out with the shoulder, part ii

The other day I checked in with the group in the shoulder series and asked how their shoulders were feeling. One student answered, They feel powerful!

What a great way to feel. Powerful.

Let’s consider the other options. Do these with me:

• Completely slump — let the shoulders round forward and hang the head. How does this feel? To me it feels sad. Like I can’t take it anymore. There’s no hope. And after a minute or so I get really really tired.

• Now pull your shoulders back and pop your chest out (just don’t let my anatomy friend see you). How does this feel? This one is tricky for me. It camouflages itself as powerful pretty well, but if I really tune in and listen, I can feel how it’s a false sense of power. It’s more like force or bullying, with undertones of desperation and insecurity.

These are two extremes, and perhaps I’m dramatizing the feelings behind them, but we communicate with our bodies. We send messages about who we are in the world by the way we carry ourselves. So now…

• Find the center point between those two. Imagine you’re rising equally from your front and back torso, growing tall from the inside right out the top of your head. Let your shoulders widen, as though you’re effortlessly pressing your outer arms into an imaginary hug. Let your eyes find a point straight forward from eye level. I feel present, like I’m greeting the world from an embodied and alive place.

Do you feel the difference?

How do your shoulders feel right now?

Is your load too heavy? Are your shoulders tired? You may need to delegate and take a nap; you could also try changing your posture and see if it changes your feeling. ‘Cause it works both ways.

Isn’t this body amazing?!

++++

Did you download your free class on the hips? Let me know what you think!

 

hanging out with the shoulder, part i

The four-week shoulder series at the studio is so much fun (and I feel just terrible for those of you who can’t be there), I thought I’d post highlights throughout the next three weeks on what we’re covering.

______________________________________________________________________

Last week, in preparation for the series, I called an anatomy-geek friend to ask her what thing she would most definitely cover if she was teaching this series.

Without hesitation, her impassioned response was:

I would tell people to stop pinching their shoulder blades together and sticking their front ribs out!

Ah yes, the overcompensation for the equally misaligned opposite, The Slouch.

Friends, we are going to talk about shoulder blade stabilization.

______________________________________________________________________

Why is this important?

Any misalignment in the shoulder girdle (your two collarbones and two scapulae) affects and is affected by the posture of the pelvis, spine and head. The entire system called shoulder is a tricky riddle. Like in Jenga, you can’t move one thing without changing the whole system.

++

Where are the shoulder blades supposed to be?

Flat on the back.

Not sloping out to the sides.
Not squeezing together.
Not winging at the inside edges.

++

Why does this matter in yoga asana?

Take, for example, the position of my shoulder blades in Warrior II (the Squeeze and the Spread):

Now, it might not cause any great damage for you to do Warrior II with squeezed or misaligned shoulder blades, but consider that these are the same arms you’ll want for Vasisthasana, Side Plank (a super scapular stabilization strengthener (SSSS)). And you don’t want to bear weight on a misaligned joint. At best, you’d be reinforcing a less than ideal pattern; at worst, you’d compromise the joint and be more susceptible to injury.

++

Here are two SSSSs to consider adding to your practice.

All 4s/plank on knees or feet
Yes, likely you do this often in your yoga practice, but are you getting the full benefit from the pose? Are you pressing the hands down through the floor, rebounding back up to fill out the space between the shoulder blades? If the answer is No (i.e. your back sinks between the shoulder blades), then you are not using your serratus muscle, a very important scapular stabilizer.

Scapular push ups
From the same position (all 4s or plank for more challenge), bring the thumb tips and index fingertips together making a diamond shape (hands turned in slightly) underneath your face (rather than under your shoulders). Keep the elbows straight and let the chest sink all the way down between the arms until the shoulder blades touch. Then ground into the hands and lift the chest back up between the blades. You might even exaggerate the lift so that you feel slightly rounded at the upper back. Repeat 10+ times.

In both poses, keep the head “on” — not looking forward, not letting the head hang. Grow your neck from the core of your body forward and out the crown. Maintain a low belly tone, as though you are lifting the spot halfway between your navel and your pubic bone away from the floor.

++

Whew! I’m feeling that. Are you? It seems easy enough, but can be deceptively potent.

I think that’s the thing with the shoulders. They can be deceptive.

++

By the by, you can purchase the audio version of all four classes (be the detective of this deceptive area!).

If you purchased (and liked) the hips series, you’ll definitely like the shoulders. Very practical, great for teachers, and between the two you would have quite a toolkit for a balanced, informed body.

Wow, come to think of it, we also offer a video class on the shoulders through It’s All Yoga.

++

Enjoy!

how sensitive is sensitive enough? and a free class

Two important parts of horse training are desensitizing the horse and sensitizing the horse.

Desensitizing to objects, sounds and places so the horse does not literally fear for it’s life, freak out, and accidentally kill you.

Sensitizing to your commands so the horse knows when you are talking to it and asking it to respond in some way.

Both pieces are equally important. You don’t want an over-sensitized horse who spooks at every rock, whistle and gesture; nor do you want a completely dull horse that is half asleep and won’t move when necessary.

The big ball

Last week Cowboy and I worked on desensitizing with a giant red and white ball.

Cowboy saw the ball as a big round predator. He was anxious and would not stand still when I rolled the ball toward him.

Eventually, though, he decided it was worth checking out.

After a few more minutes I was able to rub the ball on his legs. He was skittish and uncomfortable at first, but became more relaxed the more I did it.

By the second day of working with this (there’s no rushing a horse), I was able to pass the ball underneath his belly to the other side with no upset.

If you have a horse and a ball, all it takes is patience, love and some sweet talking.

Might we do well…

What if there were de/sensitizing exercises for humans?

Well, I believe there are.

Having an honest conversation with friend, family or lover.

Receiving constructive criticism.

Exposure to new people, places and sounds.

Stepping out of routine and comfort.

Getting lost.

Being injured or sick.

Learning something new: knitting, guitar, French.

And of course, meditation and yoga asana practice.

Sensitive enough to respond appropriately; desensitized enough to not be alarmed by every new thing.

All it takes is self-directed patience and love. A little sweet talking doesn’t hurt.

________________________________________________________

Want to jump right into sensitivity practice? You can download two yoga classes for free. These are live, as in unscripted, there are um‘s and sooo‘s, references to the room, student questions, etc. Practicing along would be a great desensitizing exercise!

Both classes start with the story about the horse. Both classes are focused around hip work. Right click the link and “Open with” iTunes.

This is a 75 minute, lighthearted, beginner-friendly class.
Blanket or towel padding for the knees and blocks (if you have them) will be helpful.

Sensitize – Beginner Yoga Class

This is a 75 minute more intermediate flow class.
Blanket or towel, blocks, a bolster or blanket roll, and a golf or tennis ball are all referenced. If you do not have these things, just interpret the poses without them.

Sensitize – Intermediate Yoga Flow

In any yoga practice, I believe we hit at least 95% of the human de/sensitizing exercises listed above: it’s like a very honest conversation, you’ll probably be out of your comfort zone at some point and you might get completely lost.

But, like Cowboy, I hope you aren’t spooked by the shadows and shapes out on the trail. Have a safe ride!

bird by bird

 

{photo}

I may be the only who has not read Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott.

But don’t fear, I am remedying that. It’s a wonderful book about writing, but just as good for a laugh or a life-lesson.

My favorite story in the book thus far also happens to explain the title. Lamott writes:

Thirty years ago my older brother, who was ten years old at the time, was trying to get a report on birds written that he’d had three months to write. It was due the next day. We were out at our family cabin in Bolinas, and he was at the kitchen table close to tears, surrounded by binder paper and pencils and unopened books on birds, immobilized by the hugeness of the task ahead. Then my father sat down beside him, put his arm around my brother’s shoulder, and said, “Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird.”

Whether it’s grief, boredom, overwhelm, fear, joy, meditation, asana or minutes in the day, wouldn’t we do better by taking it bird by bird.

when in texas

Everyone told me it would be hot in Texas. The friend I was going to visit even warned me that it was hot — 100+.

That’s fine. Sacramento has hot summers. I can take it. Bring it on, Texas.

What no one told me is that this is a heat that slaps you across the face when you walk out the front door at 9 am. At noon you’re on your knees begging it to have mercy. By 4 pm the delirium has set in and you can’t imagine ever not sweating.

Contrast this with needing a jacket in the house.

My friend — who is 7 1/2 months pregnant — had the thermostat set at 68.

I’ve been eating a ton of watermelon granita to beat the heat and stay hydrated this summer, but in Texas, it had a whole new level of necessity: cool off my hot-mama friend.

Even if it’s not hot where you are — and even if you don’t think you like watermelon all that much (this granita is my non-fruit-eating husband’s absolute favorite thing) — give it a try. Its icy, refreshing sweetness will make you pucker in delight.

Watermelon Granita

Scoop 1 mini watermelon into blender (3/4 full), or if it’s a large melon, save half for a later batch.

Add juice of 1 lemon and 1/2 cup (or less) sugar to blender.
Puree in batches. (I add a little of the sugar and lemon to each batch.)

Pour into glass dish – size dependent on size of watermelon.

Put in freezer. This is the hardest part, because you’ll want to eat it immediately. Depending on size of dish, it will start freezing in 30-60 minutes. In about 2 hours it will most likely be icy enough to enjoy, and not too hard to cut through. I make big or multiple batches and keep them in the freezer — to thaw, just leave on the counter for 10 minutes then cut into chunks with a butter knife.

Garnish with mint if you’re feeling fancy.

Y’all chill out and enjoy!

don’t be so sure

{photo}

A couple of years ago I did a Rolfing series with the wonderful Lisa Biow here in Sacramento.

The 10 sessions are broken up roughly by parts of the body. When we got to the session on the lower leg and foot, I gave her my typical pre-massage spiel about a knot on my lower shin:

Ya, there’s this spot here on my leg… I don’t like it to be touched… I think it’s some old scar tissue from a fall when I was a kid… it’s always been there… did I mention I don’t like it to be touched… so you’ll just want to work around it.

Lisa nodded, Uh-huh, ok, and replied, very respectfully, Just to let you know, I’ll be getting in there.

And she did. She worked that knot around, despite my moaning, until it was almost gone.

When she was finished she asked if I wanted to feel it. What had felt like half a good-sized grape was now more like a lima bean.

And the strangest feeling came over me:

Who am I now?

Who am I without this knot on my leg? Who am I without this story about this knot on my leg?

It’s all about perspective

Finding out that a story you’ve told yourself about yourself — or better yet, a story someone else has told you about yourself — isn’t true is completely disorienting.

And when two people’s stories collide, the potential for bewilderment increases exponentially.

It’s like having a conversation with another person about a piece of art… and finding out that they’ve been looking at a different piece of art.

Or getting directions from your house to the grocery store… and finding out that the directions are for another town.

Completely disorienting.

The sages say…

Don’t be so sure. Don’t be so quick to pound your stake in the ground.

Don’t make an identity around a knot on your leg.

Absolutes are stifling. There’s no room for discovery, evolution or the change we know is inevitable and essential.

I mean, is anything certain?

 

CERTAINTY

Certainty undermines one’s power, and turns happiness
into a long shot. Certainty confines.

Dears, there is nothing in your life that will
not change – especially your ideas of God.

Look what the insanity of righteous knowledge can do:
crusade and maim thousands
in wanting to convert that which
is already gold
into gold.

Certainty can become an illness
that creates hate and
greed.

God once said to Tuka,

“Even I am ever changing –
I am ever beyond
Myself,

what I may have once put my seal upon,
may no longer be
the greatest
Truth.”

~ Tukaram

what’s your story?

{Photo of Cowboy completely unrelated to post}

—————————————————————————————————-

Voices

There are two ways to tell a story. You can tell it from the voice of The Reporter, or you can tell it as The Commentator.

In her beautiful workbook called Finding Your Voice, Jen Lee differentiates the two:

The Reporter sticks to the facts — what’s happening, where, when.

The Commentator offers explanations and interpretations.

While The Commentator often offers meaning and context — which most of us are very interested in and seek in our lives — sometimes we rob ourselves of raw experience. We generate conclusions and step into The Story without being aware of, let alone actually feeling, what’s happening.

The Reporter, on the other hand, takes notes, interviews witnesses, and gathers all the facts. The Reporter doesn’t make assumptions or snap judgments.

The Yoga Reporter

I believe we need more Reporting and less Commentating in yoga practice.

I feel a stretch in my hamstrings
rather than
These damn hamstrings are never going to give and I’m always going to suck at forward bends

I feel fatigued right now
rather than
I’m so lazy and I just need to push through

And instead of stopping at one or two main details (usually the ones The Commentator thinks are important), we would benefit from Reporting the whole story: How’s the breath? What’s the expression saying? What amount of effort is present, is needed?

What is happening rather than what it means.

Observations rather than conclusions.

We all have them

One of my stories is that I’m weak, not very “hardy.” It’s a story from my childhood, told to me by my family. I’ve spent much of my life compiling evidence to support this story.

My Reporter has a stack of facts that reveal giant holes in the story. I don’t feel weak. Although I need and like to rest, I also have great stamina and can do a tremendous amount of work in a day. My heart has expansive capacity and holds many sorrows and joys.

Come to find out, this story is not true.

Even this guy

This is a favorite poem for the vivid imagery and surprise at the end. I hope you enjoy.

Fake by Jordan Grumet, MD

waiting wanting getting

In my practice of disappointing people (which I’m pleased to report I’m getting quite good at), there are many things that get nudged to the next day’s get-to-do list. My typical style is fit it all in, but I’ve been practicing gentleness in my schedule, and creating space means some things get left out or moved over.

I was looking through an old journal today and came across notes from a workshop I took with local teacher and poet Alexa Mergen. I vaguely remember her talking about a reframe for the word procrastination.

Procrastinate: to delay, to defer
Latin, crastinase: tomorrow

Why do the things we put off have to be things we dread? Maybe sometimes waiting makes wanting which makes getting all the sweeter.

We made a list of Things Worth Waiting For. Here’s mine:

downward facing dog
chai tea
a hug
a favorite song
dreams
a cat on my lap
alone time
clean fresh sheets
a bath
sparkles
christmas music
scarf and beanie weather
a look from my dog
a pause
honesty
jumping in the water
kindness
lightning and thunder
quiet
rain
toast
until
warmth
a word that fits perfectly

Even though this list is from 2007 or so, it rings pretty true. Today I would add: the smell of Cowboy‘s coat, savasana, fresh herbs, and naps.

What about you? What’s worth waiting for?