Posts Tagged 'stuckness'

Holding on tightly to letting go

I’m getting exactly what I wanted:

  • February off
  • More admin help
  • Some nourishing time just for me
  • Some help/support as I look into my dark corners
  • Sooooo…

    1. There was a knot in my stomach last night in class when I announced that I wouldn’t be back until March.

    What if they don’t miss me? What if they really miss me and decide to leave?

    2. Alicia helped me disconnect during the Haramara retreat and all went swimmingly. So when she offered to permanently route the email to her rather than my computer, of course I said YES!

    And yet…. when it came down to disabling the account, my palms were sweaty. I waited three days.

    Well, maybe I’ll just keep it for a while and make sure she doesn’t need my help.

    3 & 4. Nourishing time and help with my shit came as a two-for-one – a Destuckification Retreat with my friend Havi at the Asilomar in Monterey. Next week. Right before my Month Off.

    More subs, less of a “send off” from teaching, more time away from the studio, guilt about going.

    I already get a Whole Month Off. Why should I get to go to this too?

    Leaving again. Asking Ron to do everything at the house; asking my colleagues to do everything at the studio.

    Sigh. This is some of the “stuck” stuff that I hope to work on next week. It’s scary to even say I’m going to work it. Or look at. Or think about it. Double sigh.

    Letting go… just a little.


    Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

    Join 73 other subscribers