During my Recess I had some sessions with Hiro, who I met at Havi’s retreat.
Hiro is a clairvoyant personal and business coach. Yes, it is the most awesome combo ever.
In one session, she talked about the dualities of life, and how we are constantly negotiating between polar ends, integrating aspects of ourselves which are both dual and unity: lightness/darkness, joy/pain, material/spiritual. This is one of the things I love so much about Yoga: grounding/rising, inner/outer rotations, ease/effort, strength/softness. We cannot have one without the other.
One of the things she “saw” in me was a tendency to get stuck in retreat. When duality gets too noisy and complicated I retreat into simplicity. While this is somewhat natural and necessary, she saw me using it as a way to withdraw rather than refuel. As a way to avoid the polarities of the world.
This message came up again last week. A student loaned me some cassette tapes (thank goodness I still have my Walkman) of poet David Whyte. I am on my 3rd listening of the first tape (even if the content was rubbish, his voice, accent, and manner of speech are intoxicating) where he illustrates this idea with the image of walking down a country dirt road: A huge storm comes. You take shelter in the barn until the storm passes. Sometimes the warmth and protection of the barn feel so good, so easy and safe, you never leave. But you have to get back on the road. You have to keep going.
And because things come in threes, this message arrived, or rather departed, again out of the dove’s nest in our backyard. (As you know from this post as well.)
Hiro said, This shuffling from pain to retreat, retreat to pain is not necessary. The flow of soul is the integrating force.
Hafiz said, How did the rose ever open its heart….? It felt the encouragement of light against its being. It felt love.
It’s quite scary to come out of the barn, to leave the nest, to feel the emotion, to have the conversation, the relationship.
And even more scary that I have to do it on my own. I can take the wisdom and support and encouragement of others with me, but those alone will not create the movement. The leap, the step, the gesture, have to be mine.
Blogasana 