Posts Tagged 'wasting time'

no beginning, no end. come see my new site!

A couple of years ago I took a workshop on how to deal with holiday stress. The teacher talked about how there is no beginning and there is no end.

As in:

You finally resolved all the issues with your mother and you’ll never fight again.
This will be the start of peaceful holidays because you’ve figured it all out.

Neither of those things are true. We are never “done” with an issue. And things that seem to “start” actually began long ago.

****

Almost two years ago the seed for a new writing idea, a new website, a new direction was planted.

One year ago the idea and site started growing into shape and form.

The site has been complete for almost ten months. I set launch dates which passed by. I tinkered with the copy and design. I even talked about it on Blogasana. Still, no launch.

But folks,

today I am launching.

Here’s the deal:

The site will never be “done.”  Or perfect, or whatever unreal idea I have of how it should be. By launching with it incomplete as it is, I can get a feel for what final accessories would suit us best. The main pieces are here and now (the fun part) you get to check back to watch us try on different details.

The ideas and purpose of the site will also continually evolve. Right now I have planned yoga tip videos, poetry breaks, recipes, free audio classes and meditation and, like Blogasana, writings on life and teaching. You’ll let me know what sticks (please!) and the rest will fall away.

It’s already started. There comes a point when the thing (the idea, the shift in me, and concretely a new website) has already happened, which means the final step (actually launching) isn’t the beginning. This feels reassuring.

It doesn’t need a drumroll. I mean, I’m excited about this new thing, but it doesn’t have to be all fireworks and caviar. I don’t eat caviar anyway. And although I enjoy sparkles, I don’t need to put a lot of pressure on myself by making this a bigger deal than it is (which is a new place to do what I’ve already been doing).

****

I do want you to come over and celebrate with me.

Even though I’m not completely moved in…

And even though I’ll be moving to http://www.lovewastingtime.com (rather than the wordpress site) in the next few days…

And even though it’s not a big deal…

I still want you to come over, check it out and let me know what you think!

Love Wasting Time — ’cause Lord knows we aren’t very good at that.

Come on, check it out!!

.

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where’s the wonder?

Reverb December 4Wonder.
How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year? (Author: Jeffrey Davis)

***

Capricorn is all about hard work. Those born under this sign are more than happy to put in a full day at the office, realizing that it will likely take a lot of those days to get to the top. That’s no problem, since Capricorns are both ambitious and determined: they will get there. Life is one big project for these folks, and they adapt to this by adopting a businesslike approach to most everything they do. Capricorns are practical as well, taking things one step at a time and being as realistic and pragmatic as possible. The Capricorn-born are extremely dedicated to their goals, almost to the point of stubbornness. Those victories sure smell sweet, though, and that thought alone will keep Capricorns going.

I’m a Capricorn.

I didn’t start out true to Capricorn qualities. I used to spend hours daydreaming, sitting in front of the stereo speaker singing with Neil Diamond, and drawing pictures of my horse, Snoopy. That was 1981.

Then I grew up, went to college and got a real job.

And somehow between 1981 and now, I became a work-a-holic.

Don’t get me wrong, I love to work. I love a project from creativity to completion.

So much so, in fact, that I will work through breakfast, lunch and dinner. And not get up to pee.

I know I am not alone in this. We are a culture of productivity. Bigger, better, faster, more.

Like increases like, so on top of my nature of nose-to-the-grindstone, the cultural pressure and reward of hard work makes this a very tricky topic. This year I needed an intervention.

My mission for 2010 has been to learn how to take pause. To measure my moments by ease and spaciousness rather than productivity. Or not to measure my moments at all.

At best, challenging, at worst, futile, “pausing” has stretched my ideas about worth, pleasure, time and efficiency. I’ve even met resistance in my own home: my husband, upon catching me in a pause at my desk, asked, “Why are you wasting time looking out the window — I thought you had a lot to do?”

And voila… an inspiration. (Read: a new project.) We all need to be reminded to find the pause: go slower than necessary, doodle, nap, sit down, do something you aren’t good at, talk to a stranger. For me it’s a poetry break, taking a stretch, or letting go of a deep sigh.

Wonder lives in the pause.

And (don’t tell anyone…), we end up being more efficient, clear, creative and productive as a result.

It’s my grown up version of 1981, without the bad hair and hand-me-down bell bottoms.

A Capricorn who is starting to love the pause.
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