where’s the wonder?

Reverb December 4 – Wonder.
How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year? (Author: Jeffrey Davis)

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Capricorn is all about hard work. Those born under this sign are more than happy to put in a full day at the office, realizing that it will likely take a lot of those days to get to the top. That’s no problem, since Capricorns are both ambitious and determined: they will get there. Life is one big project for these folks, and they adapt to this by adopting a businesslike approach to most everything they do. Capricorns are practical as well, taking things one step at a time and being as realistic and pragmatic as possible. The Capricorn-born are extremely dedicated to their goals, almost to the point of stubbornness. Those victories sure smell sweet, though, and that thought alone will keep Capricorns going.

I’m a Capricorn.

I didn’t start out true to Capricorn qualities. I used to spend hours daydreaming, sitting in front of the stereo speaker singing with Neil Diamond, and drawing pictures of my horse, Snoopy. That was 1981.

Then I grew up, went to college and got a real job.

And somehow between 1981 and now, I became a work-a-holic.

Don’t get me wrong, I love to work. I love a project from creativity to completion.

So much so, in fact, that I will work through breakfast, lunch and dinner. And not get up to pee.

I know I am not alone in this. We are a culture of productivity. Bigger, better, faster, more.

Like increases like, so on top of my nature of nose-to-the-grindstone, the cultural pressure and reward of hard work makes this a very tricky topic. This year I needed an intervention.

My mission for 2010 has been to learn how to take pause. To measure my moments by ease and spaciousness rather than productivity. Or not to measure my moments at all.

At best, challenging, at worst, futile, “pausing” has stretched my ideas about worth, pleasure, time and efficiency. I’ve even met resistance in my own home: my husband, upon catching me in a pause at my desk, asked, “Why are you wasting time looking out the window — I thought you had a lot to do?”

And voila… an inspiration. (Read: a new project.) We all need to be reminded to find the pause: go slower than necessary, doodle, nap, sit down, do something you aren’t good at, talk to a stranger. For me it’s a poetry break, taking a stretch, or letting go of a deep sigh.

Wonder lives in the pause.

And (don’t tell anyone…), we end up being more efficient, clear, creative and productive as a result.

It’s my grown up version of 1981, without the bad hair and hand-me-down bell bottoms.

A Capricorn who is starting to love the pause.